A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I want a musical about memes.
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