Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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