addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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