no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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