wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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