Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
