I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
