i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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