The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is it penis luge time yet?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
