This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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