Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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