I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Randomize
