my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize