My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
