I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
