hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
