Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
