dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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