I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
