im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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