And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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