Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
