Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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