Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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