R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Duck Duck Cougar?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
