Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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