He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
