I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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