Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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