This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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