how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
