I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
