Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
