Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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