it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i don't like sucking hair
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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