True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
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sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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