Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
