I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
