did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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