My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
