I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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