woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize