the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The power of my boobs compel you
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
