she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
