Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
whose parrot is this?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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