well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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