i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
