every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
