Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide. http://tfl.nu/8m3e
  Replies (6) Good night (4517) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy http://tfl.nu/8k4u
  Replies (7) Good night (747) Bad night (1973)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  It's never good when you wake up covered with burns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): It's never good when you wake up covered with burns http://tfl.nu/8fkk
  Replies (15) Good night (823) Bad night (4040)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/jfbz
  Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (2740)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village. http://tfl.nu/2k9f
  Replies (7) Good night (1708) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now. http://tfl.nu/4bjw
  Replies (7) Good night (789) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius http://tfl.nu/trod
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (1762)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it. http://tfl.nu/y2di
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's http://tfl.nu/o9z1
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kvnn
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse http://tfl.nu/h2il
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening http://tfl.nu/y28c
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get. http://tfl.nu/dc03
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender? http://tfl.nu/he73
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work. http://tfl.nu/t1ta
  Replies (1) Good night (221) Bad night (146)

Randomize