Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.

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(973): just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house. http://tfl.nu/l9um

Replies (29) Good night (808) Bad night (3783)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

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(763): Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex http://tfl.nu/0lo0

Replies (27) Good night (1260) Bad night (3965)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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(704): the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem http://tfl.nu/ycgy

Replies (10) Good night (4066) Bad night (785)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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(443): I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation http://tfl.nu/w8jm

Replies (76) Good night (7804) Bad night (1458)
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(417): View more from Missouri

In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

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(417): In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D. http://tfl.nu/wwrb

Replies (9) Good night (2903) Bad night (1024)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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(864): Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night. http://tfl.nu/lqaz

Replies (6) Good night (1404) Bad night (1666)
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(207): View more from Maine

remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?

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(207): remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are? http://tfl.nu/u6le

Replies (6) Good night (2474) Bad night (808)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.

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(706): I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja. http://tfl.nu/8z0x

Replies (13) Good night (2497) Bad night (832)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.

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(847): Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that. http://tfl.nu/stzp

Replies (1) Good night (1266) Bad night (535)
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(734): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.

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(734): The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes. http://tfl.nu/6htc

Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (543)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth

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(336): Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth http://tfl.nu/r0sd

Replies (8) Good night (1664) Bad night (550)
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(917): View more from New York City

If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"

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(917): If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia" http://tfl.nu/fadd

Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (849)
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(970): View more from Colorado

he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.

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(970): he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again. http://tfl.nu/v15v

Replies (4) Good night (1414) Bad night (454)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours

(615): View more from Tennessee

This is why you're my favorite TA

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(908): would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours (615): This is why you're my favorite TA http://tfl.nu/ulv5

Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (417)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??

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(706): Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night?? http://tfl.nu/ofn4

Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (174)

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