Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting http://tfl.nu/149l
  Replies (30) Good night (2073) Bad night (3228)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is http://tfl.nu/hhp3
  Replies (55) Good night (4835) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed http://tfl.nu/8ny3
  Replies (33) Good night (584) Bad night (3503)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast. http://tfl.nu/nqf8
  Replies (16) Good night (9350) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"... http://tfl.nu/s1bt
  Replies (13) Good night (876) Bad night (4177)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house. http://tfl.nu/rb9c
  Replies (3) Good night (2432) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant. http://tfl.nu/xyax
  Replies (8) Good night (2729) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked http://tfl.nu/0uzi
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills". http://tfl.nu/ec0b
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU http://tfl.nu/1s1y
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing! http://tfl.nu/2stv
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?" http://tfl.nu/vsfp
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them. http://tfl.nu/xfpb
  Replies (6) Good night (312) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Help everyone's hot

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Help everyone's hot (410): Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot http://tfl.nu/8oap
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING http://tfl.nu/fcp6
  Replies (13) Good night (1703) Bad night (363)

Randomize