Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  apparently the secret to your success is patron

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  (914): apparently the secret to your success is patron http://tfl.nu/m5sk
  Replies (7) Good night (2496) Bad night (522)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.

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  (248): The first sip always goes straight to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/w086
  Replies (17) Good night (5995) Bad night (761)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?

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  (702): So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night? http://tfl.nu/xjy9
  Replies (62) Good night (782) Bad night (8256)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Does God suck his dick?

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  (270): He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God." (1-270): Does God suck his dick? http://tfl.nu/w42a
  Replies (105) Good night (1332) Bad night (5834)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??

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  (203): is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore?? http://tfl.nu/voom
  Replies (42) Good night (1173) Bad night (10300)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

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  (715): We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later http://tfl.nu/4xtv
  Replies (11) Good night (5052) Bad night (1145)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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  (609): I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/cpqs
  Replies (5) Good night (1690) Bad night (921)
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  (845): View more from New York

  This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.

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  (845): This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way. http://tfl.nu/f18r
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (753)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.

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  (785): I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me. http://tfl.nu/wjzj
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (455)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.

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  (610): porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy. http://tfl.nu/gke1
  Replies (12) Good night (2450) Bad night (532)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up

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  (850): I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up http://tfl.nu/4e9b
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (351)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's a hard toss up

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  (413): I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver (1-413): That's a hard toss up http://tfl.nu/wcmj
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (466)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.

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  (406): Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet. http://tfl.nu/hvvl
  Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (560)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom

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  (519): don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom http://tfl.nu/zs1y
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (311)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language

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  (508): Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language http://tfl.nu/6y9g
  Replies (5) Good night (749) Bad night (340)

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