don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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