Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.