i just google imaged poop.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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