Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.

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(407): View more from Florida

At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!

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(650): View more from California

you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february

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(360): View more from Washington

Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?

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(616): View more from Michigan

On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming

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