Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.