when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
