Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore

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(562): glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore http://tfl.nu/a739

Replies (26) Good night (694) Bad night (834)
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(941): View more from Florida

For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.

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(941): For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around. http://tfl.nu/txv7

Replies (30) Good night (4226) Bad night (617)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.

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(608): sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself. http://tfl.nu/6c7w

Replies (26) Good night (9958) Bad night (1628)
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(714): View more from California

walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

(714): View more from California

he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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(714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot

Replies (44) Good night (4781) Bad night (8460)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.

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(913): Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/4gbf

Replies (17) Good night (1099) Bad night (3389)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...i wondered where i left that...

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(732): please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong... (1-732): ...i wondered where i left that... http://tfl.nu/q7mv

Replies (3) Good night (2359) Bad night (549)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??

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(304): Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away?? http://tfl.nu/5x5i

Replies (4) Good night (1603) Bad night (1106)
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(949): View more from California

I have no words

(951): View more from California

Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.

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(949): I have no words (951): Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water. http://tfl.nu/wxcd

Replies (19) Good night (1019) Bad night (2319)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.

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(262): Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/thay

Replies (2) Good night (926) Bad night (465)
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(678): View more from Georgia

It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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(678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d

Replies (6) Good night (1112) Bad night (520)
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(914): View more from New York

I had to warn the neighbors

(757): View more from Virginia

Warn them about what?! It's noon

(914): View more from New York

"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...

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(914): I had to warn the neighbors (757): Warn them about what?! It's noon (914): "Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess... http://tfl.nu/j7iv

Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (306)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...

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(717): And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill... http://tfl.nu/3r4q

Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (246)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.

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(306): Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am. http://tfl.nu/zysn

Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (201)
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(406): View more from Montana

After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.

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(406): After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women. http://tfl.nu/36ea

Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (294)
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(949): View more from California

We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.

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(949): We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years. http://tfl.nu/m9m6

Replies (12) Good night (746) Bad night (364)

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