FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor