so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room