Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I feel like death. Did you die last night?

  (305): View more from Florida

  Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus

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  (859): I feel like death. Did you die last night? (305): Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta! (859): unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus http://tfl.nu/lgid
  Replies (8) Good night (2268) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out

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  (817): I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out http://tfl.nu/wed3
  Replies (28) Good night (3266) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.

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  (803): I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again. http://tfl.nu/aquc
  Replies (14) Good night (948) Bad night (4203)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
  Replies (98) Good night (28017) Bad night (2041)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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  (251): I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost http://tfl.nu/fd0l
  Replies (5) Good night (3829) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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  (419): On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire http://tfl.nu/uiq5
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed

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  (250): Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yyfl
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (2040)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.

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  (720): There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there. http://tfl.nu/9sg3
  Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation

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  (931): My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation http://tfl.nu/stoh
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry

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  (503): I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry http://tfl.nu/xdrm
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go

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  (954): When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go http://tfl.nu/7tcn
  Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.

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  (716): Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her. http://tfl.nu/cpaa
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

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  (256): We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break? http://tfl.nu/kbd5
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely

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  (617): no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely http://tfl.nu/0b34
  Replies (6) Good night (364) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.

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  (417): I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low. http://tfl.nu/l7at
  Replies (4) Good night (252) Bad night (451)

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