I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
