I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
