i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
