Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize