Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
