fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
