We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize