i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
